*Disclaimer – I have had premarital sex. I’m not judging anyone. I’m simply pointing out the reasons why God frowns upon sex so that you don’t consider him the world’s biggest buzz kill and avoid his Word as such.
Watch nearly any show on television, Pretty Little Liars, Grey’s Anatomy, How I Met Your Mother,
Friends, and you will see characters that we like and root for casually sleeping with one person after the other. Why? Because sex feels good and we get a chemically induced high when we meet someone and sleep with them. And the more we see these characters, who in our mind are decent people, sleeping around, the more we think that their lifestyle is the norm for what we should strive. Look I get it so before you click away because you think I’m about to judge your sexual history, let me ask you one thing.
Is your sexual lifestyle, gay or straight, one of the primary reasons you don’t go to church or have no room for God in your life? Do you feel judged by God and think he is being a stick in the mud over sex? Do you believe that if you love someone you should be able to have sex with them without fear of God’s wrath? The world is tough! God allows it to be tough and we should at least get to blow off steam by having sex, dammit! Right?
Well before we go judging God and assuming we know what is best for us, here’s a few reasons why God frowns up pre-marital sex every bit as much as the other sins such as homosexuality against which we so righteously object.
Severing bonds hurts people – When two people have sex a bond is created between them and when this bond is broken at least one of the individuals inevitably will get hurt. Who has never felt that intense sense of loss and despair when a lover abandons you? God feels this pain. You are his child and he never wants to see you upset.
Sex leads to unwanted pregnancies- This should be a no brainer but for many this is also one of those, “that will never happen to me” scenarios until actually it does happen to you. Obviously unwanted pregnancies lead to several other problems such as….
Abortion – Have you ever heard the story of the Walls of Jericho? Joseph and the Israelites marched around the city each day for seven days. On the seventh day, God caused the walls to crumble and the city and all its inhabitants were delivered into Joshua’s hands. Now why did the walls need to come down? Why didn’t God just explode the gate? What in the heck does this have to do with abortion?! Well, the walls were filled with aborted fetuses sacrificed to a false God. It’s true, look it up! My mind was blown too when I found out recently. Do you know how many abortions have taken place since Roe v. Wade? Over 56 million! That’s a tad more than what was found in Jericho’s walls. Most unwanted pregnancies aren’t the result of rape or incest. They are the result of having sex at a time in our life when we can’t raise children. They are the result of being with someone we have no business being with. Getting pregnant is an inconvenient side effect of careless sex. Although many convince themselves those 56M fetuses are undeveloped lifeless nothings, we know deep down God does not see it as such. I’ve got good news for you though. God loves you and will forgive anyone who asks for it.
Single mothers – In 2011, 62 percent of women between ages 20 and 24 who had recently given birth were unmarried according to the Census Bureau’s American Community Survey. That is staggering! Children need both a mother and a father! Yes, I’m sure plenty of single mothers are doing a great job but most undervalue the role of a man in the development of a child’s, boy or girl, life.
Bad marriages – I applaud anyone who doesn’t go the abortion route and instead tries to marry. How many people with nothing in common though are bonded together through matrimony because one night of irresponsible sex created a new life? No, I’m not judging. I went to college too! But now you are with a man or woman you should not be with and rather than stick it out as God intended you get a…..
Divorce – Fifty percent of all marriages now end in divorce! Pre-marital sex can lead to unwanted pregnancies, unwanted pregnancies can lead to abortion or bad marriages, bad marriages can lead to divorce and divorce can lead to more heartbreak, despair and children who just don’t end up as adjusted as we like to believe. Yes, some children come out just fine, but many simply don’t get over it like we want them too. Recent studies suggest that children of divorced parents are more likely to smoke, suffer anxiety, drop out of school and commit crimes. But what are you going to do? Stay with someone you don’t love? Oh if only you hadn’t had sex with them in the first place.
Disease – Another “this will never happen to me scenario”. When one of your friends gets pregnant, hiding it is pretty hard to do. When one of your friends contracts an STD, keeping it concealed is a little easier and so perhaps the threat of disease is not so on our minds like pregnancy is because we can’t always see it. In 2008 according to the Center for Disease Control, 110 million sexually transmitted infections were tracked which may actually be a low estimate. Nearly 20 million of these occurred in men and women between 15-24.
God doesn’t evaluate each individual and give them a pass on whether they can or cannot have sex based on their emotional maturity and ability to resist temptation. He saw our future. He saw all the heartbreak. He saw the millions of aborted babies. He saw all the struggling marriages. He saw all the families torn apart. He saw all the sickness that we would spread among ourselves. He saw all the children from divorced families struggle with self-worth and depression. God knew with the devil slithering about tempting us at every turn that we weren’t strong enough to stand up against our flesh and resist sex so he basically banned it for everyone not married. God in essence is our best friend who takes our car keys from us when we’re drunk.
Listen, God loves you and doesn’t want to see you, your parents, your children or your children’s children hurt. He isn’t trying to take something away from us. He is trying to give us a life where we have the opportunity to be our very best!